by Shree1990 » Sun Aug 20, 2017 1:02 pm
I will begin by first telling my story. I was born in a humble home and slowly rose up to belong to a higher status. I travelled the world and saw many things. I understood a few truths of our world and was fairly disappointed. I mean I was told as a child that every thing will be alright if I just study and work hard. But then it wasn't like that. A lot of the moral education my parents gave me just didn't apply. So I felt like a fool to insist on good and started doing bad. I hated others, I hated the world, I hated the rich and I hated the poor. I didn't belong anywhere. I started feeling depressed. I wanted to quit my job, I wanted to kill myself. At one point I was standing at the edge and contemplated that I indeed need to quit my job, I felt phoney in it because what I could do, they never allowed me to. I was told to follow procedure like a robot and receive a good salary. I felt worthless and to actually become successful felt like a distant dream. Then I decided, fuck it, I am done. I quit my job because I couldn't jump from my window, and decided to take control of my life. I looked to great people who had left their success story behind and I immersed myself in it. I realised that all those people had one thing in common, they all wanted to be different. I realised that I also want to be different. And I practised their moral code to the T. I am very happy today. I am doing exactly what I want to do and I feel happy. The definition of success has changed for me and I am doing everything that is a success to me. None of them cared about an award from the world. They just lived like that because they wanted to.I did not reach the deep levels of depression but I made my escape early. I only about saw that my depression was a result of my repeated negative behaviour. It had become a habit to say that the day sucked. Even when in all honesty it wasnt so bad. Because come on, if my day was bad then what was the labourers? I started to become more honest in my use of words and said only what I meant and I felt the difference.