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explain me the unexplained

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Welcome to the Infertility Forum - a health community featuring member and doctor discussions ranging from a specific symptom to related conditions, treatment options, medication, side effects, diet, and emotional issues surrounding medical conditions. Getting pregnant.

explain me the unexplained

Unread postby MarlenS » Mon Mar 27, 2017 7:28 am

We tried to build our family since we had married. You have to know we are younger than 30, my husband has good sperm the same as I have good egg quality. For more than two years at the beginning we have been trying to conceive without treatment. After cycle of Clomid and IUI we didn’t achieve pregnancy. It wasn’t the end of our journey. Also we passed through two IVF rounds and our pregnancy didn’t begin.
What I can think and do? We still have a huge desire to become parents to experience this feeling. The doctors don’t explain any reasons but only statistic, that 10-20 % couples have the same problem.
We have enough money, wish, and health to continue and we ask for your advices.

:flower

MarlenS
 
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Re: explain me the unexplained

Unread postby davidson » Mon Mar 27, 2017 8:15 am

Hello,
We've been trying to conceive since 2010 but we had no results. we also passed through 3 cycles of IUI as well as 2 ivf with my own eggs. That didn't work for us. So, I understand how you feeling right now.
Sorry that you didn't know the reason for your fails, it's very hard and stressful to live knowing nothing about your disease.
Honey, what kind of advice do you need?

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Re: explain me the unexplained

Unread postby Momsie » Mon Mar 27, 2017 8:38 am

Hi MarlenS, I understand how devastating this feeling is, but it seems you're too young and ambitious to say it's all over. Unfortunately, your doc is right: so many couples suffer from unexplained infertility and in fact docs are not miracle makers and in many cases they really don't know how to help you coz there might be so many reasons for failed conception. What really hurts in this situations is your failed treatments and IVFs. Of course, you thought they were about to help and getting negative result really hurts. and the money wasted. And the time, of course. My idea is like that: what if you take a time out and stop ttc and fertility treatments for a while? Just take some time to enjoy life to the fullest - go on vocation, get some new hobby, make something you dreamed for a while but were not resolute enough to fulfill (get a tattoo, go banjo jumping, start learning to play a guitar, or whatever you want). Each of us has a list like that. Try this. Too much ttc in life may spoil life quality, IMO

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Re: explain me the unexplained

Unread postby MarlenS » Mon Mar 27, 2017 9:06 am

Davidson
Thank you for such a quick response, dear! What kind of advice do I ask for? Hah I think a supportive kind or a cheering kind. Actually I want to exchange the words and impressions to feel calmer and clear my thoughts. I want and actually need to find a direction for making a new step. You already shared that you got the same treatment, on what stage are you now?

MarlenS
 
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Re: explain me the unexplained

Unread postby davidson » Mon Mar 27, 2017 9:15 am

MarlenS wrote:Davidson
Thank you for such a quick response, dear! What kind of advice do I ask for? Hah I think a supportive kind or a cheering kind. Actually I want to exchange the words and impressions to feel calmer and clear my thoughts. I want and actually need to find a direction for making a new step. You already shared that you got the same treatment, on what stage are you now?


Actually I don't know what is wrong with you. As far as I understand you have some kind of unexplained infertility, am I right? You want to have a baby and this is obvious. Frankly speaking, I know not too much about this issue but if you are ready to face with lots of pitfalls on your way -just move further and you'll be rewarded.
You told the ivf with your own eggs didn't work for you but what about ivf with donor's eggs?

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Re: explain me the unexplained

Unread postby marissa » Mon Mar 27, 2017 9:24 am

MarlenS, I think I feel your despair. I'm so sorry that all those things didn't work for you, but don't be upset too early. I've seen a statement which has it "there is no absolute infertility". and you know what? I tend to believe in it. I'm not unexplained though, i think that no one would explain you such things and I know that it's killing you and all those women in the same boat.
but what did your dr tell you? maybe there are alternative methods like donor egg ivf or something like that?

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Re: explain me the unexplained

Unread postby MarlenS » Mon Mar 27, 2017 9:27 am

Momsie wrote:Hi MarlenS, I understand how devastating this feeling is, but it seems you're too young and ambitious to say it's all over. Unfortunately, your doc is right: so many couples suffer from unexplained infertility and in fact docs are not miracle makers and in many cases they really don't know how to help you coz there might be so many reasons for failed conception. What really hurts in this situations is your failed treatments and IVFs. Of course, you thought they were about to help and getting negative result really hurts. and the money wasted. And the time, of course. My idea is like that: what if you take a time out and stop ttc and fertility treatments for a while? Just take some time to enjoy life to the fullest - go on vocation, get some new hobby, make something you dreamed for a while but were not resolute enough to fulfill (get a tattoo, go banjo jumping, start learning to play a guitar, or whatever you want). Each of us has a list like that. Try this. Too much ttc in life may spoil life quality, IMO


Am I right, you urge me to accept the fact of my infertility and live a “full life” through my childlessness … nothing wrong actually perhaps it would be fine not to think all my daytime about my fertile misery.
But I can’t consider this life as a “full” without babies. Ok, if I have no uterus or ovary and I’d know why. But everything is alright (my health condition is excellent) but my ability to get pregnant is nothing.
What’s the f* reason? I’ve heard the one reasonable response it sounded “you can’t have children maybe because you are afraid of this due to social circumstances or mental health?” I didn’t catch it! But it can be so… what thoughts do you have to this matter?

MarlenS
 
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Re: explain me the unexplained

Unread postby Momsie » Mon Mar 27, 2017 9:39 am

You see, there’s always a reason. Nothing can be unexplained in our lives. The difference is that not always we can find the reason. The thing you’re talking about may be called psychological infertility. I’ve heard quite a bit about it recently. Quite possible that the reason for your failed conception is not medical, and psychological. Have you thought about it? What are your relationships with husband? What are you social roles? Are you satisfied with your professional success? How are you going to combine mothering and your profession or business? Your parents – are they ready to have grandchildren? Just try to figure this out and you may find a missing detail that may be your psychological block for your fertility to strive (sorry if it sounds as if you’re visiting a psychologist – I really didn’t mean that). you know, speaking with someone you don’t know and asking for advice may be eye opening, so just try figuring this all out xxx

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Re: explain me the unexplained

Unread postby MarlenS » Mon Mar 27, 2017 9:42 am

Davidson
I guess you’ve reached your success on DE? Oh, dear. Have you reached? You really can see how it’s difficult to decide to go through the procedures with help of donor eggs if you still have good quality of your own. And you have regular periods and regular sex. We don’t exclude this variant and we are not going to waste the rest of the health through the endless ivf rounds. We need to be advised.

MarlenS
 
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Re: explain me the unexplained

Unread postby davidson » Mon Mar 27, 2017 9:53 am

MarlenS wrote:Davidson
I guess you’ve reached your success on DE? Oh, dear. Have you reached? You really can see how it’s difficult to decide to go through the procedures with help of donor eggs if you still have good quality of your own. And you have regular periods and regular sex. We don’t exclude this variant and we are not going to waste the rest of the health through the endless ivf rounds. We need to be advised.

This is unbelievable :envy There must be some reason, everything in this world has a reason for its existence. What did the doctors say about it? Did you do test in order to confirm your disease or what you have? what were their prognosis?
To my mind, you'd better to undergo de ivf. Probably it will help you, as you said you would keep trying.

p.s. no, I didn't reach my goal. It's just our first steps. we applied for de surrogacy but I feel helpless and devastated with this issue.

Last edited by davidson on Mon Mar 27, 2017 10:10 am, edited 1 time in total.
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